Sarcasm? Me? Nooooooo

I recently read an article by Paul Coughlin who is also the author of "No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps: Raising Secure, Assertive Kids in a Tough World".


In the article that I read he covers Parental Sarcasm.


I find it very interesting that I happen to find this article 2 days after I blogged about my 7th grade teacher's damaging giggle. Ya see, my husband and I are the King and Queen of sarcasm. When I read the title "Parental Sarcasm is no Joke", I was immediately convicted.


I thought, "What have I done?!? Have I scarred for life? What can I do to fix it?"


Coughlin calls sarcasm a "double edged sword, able to spark laughter as well as inflict pain..."


He does point out sarcasm's good side. The prophet Elijah mocked the priests of Baal in I Kings 18:27. "At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout Louder!" he said, "surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." This is my favorite use of sarcasm of all time! ;)
Jesus also used sarcasm with the Pharisees. "You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but you swallow a camel." (Matt. 23:24)


If you notice in these examples sarcasm is directed at the stubborn, self righteous and arrogant, but never against the weak or wounded.


Too many of us use sarcasm to wound without it appearing like a wounding. Then we say, "can't you take a joke?"


Since reading this article, I have tried to curb my sarcasm habit, not just at home but with everyone.


"The tongue has the power of life and death," (Proverbs 18:21)


I want to speak words of life. Words that are of encouragement and empowerment, not wounding mockery. Anyone can be rude and laugh but those of us who are children of The Most High need to choose our words for carefully.


I guess, grandma was right, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." (unless it's to the priests of Baal or the Pharisees) ;p








You can find out more about Paul Coughlin by visiting http://www.family.org/ .

Strike One and You're Out!

Only one strike? Even baseball players and criminals get three strikes. So why do we have this idea that if we try something once and don't succeed, we should just quit?

When we went to school, the subjects were reading, math, science and social studies. We learned the material and took the test. Unfortunately this system of education requires the correct answer the first time. We really learned, whether we realize it or not, if your can't get it right the first time, you are a failure.
I actually had a 7th grade reading teacher that would giggle when a student made a mistake. I often wonder how many of her students won't read aloud or speak in front of a group. (I know I didn't for 20 years. When I was forced to read or speak, I would hear her giggle if it wasn't perfect.)
What Bondage!!!!

So what did it take for me to get past this "One strike and you're out" mentality?

Watching a baby learn to walk.
Unless you are a horse, you did not walk the day you were born. Nor did you at ten months of age stand up and start walking because you saw someone else walk. Learning to walk was a trial and error process. Did you take one or two steps, fall then say, "forget it, I'm just not meant to walk"? NO! You saw others doing what you wanted to do, and you worked at it until you got it.

What if we addressed all our falls and failures as if it were a learning process like walking?
What could we accomplish in our lives if we would give ourselves permission to miss the target on the first try? What if every time we made a mistake, instead of beating ourselves, we heard Billy Joel singing "Your only human, you're supposed to make mistakes..."
Then...
What if we gave each other permission to be the person that we were each created to be? What if we encouraged others in all things as if they were learning to walk? Instead of giggling like my teacher, what if we gave permission to take ones time and encouraged others to try until they got it?
I guess, we would being singing "What a Wonderful World".

One strike and you're out? No way, the first ten swings are just a warm up.